I’m fascinated by people who make it a standard practice to mislead people. They don’t mean what they’re saying because what they’re saying is not
Whether verbal graffiti sounds great, or sounds hurtful, it never sounds honest.
honest. They want to prevent direct and useful conversation. I call this technique Verbal Graffiti. The first step to handling Verbal Graffiti is to recognize you’re hearing it. Continue reading
Nobody likes a stupid argument. A stupid argument, in case you’re wondering, is one where neither of you keep to the topic that you both need or want to
Time-outs aren’t just for the kids. Give yourself a break when a conversation starts to turn toxic.
discuss and instead rush headlong into the land of name-calling, shouting, talking over each other and other things that prevent what could be a useful conversation that gives you each what you need and makes your relationship stronger.
If you’ve been reading some of my recent posts on Verbal Graffiti, you know that I’ve been talking about the various ways we prevent direct and useful conversation. Today’s post is about how to handle Verbal Graffiti so that it doesn’t cover up the conversation you really mean to have
and want to have. Continue reading
We all argue. There are two types of arguments, ones that are productive and ones that are destructive. You’ve probably experienced both kinds in your
Harmony is not a constant in relationships, nor is it required for good relationships. You can avoid destructive arguments when you stop resorting to verbal graffiti and simply ask for what you need.
life, but you may not have understood why some arguments have resolved a situation effectively, and some have left you frustrated and without a resolution. The key is productive arguing. When you know how to argue productively, your relationships are more likely to thrive than to die. You can avoid destructive arguing when you remember one simple rule: no Verbal Graffiti. Continue reading