Tag Archives: truthfulness

Honesty Doesn’t have to be Painful

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of someone’s honesty, you know how much it can hurt. It never has

 

3 layer cake of white and dark chocolate with chocolate ganache,  on plate with whipped cream, in a nice restaurant

Let your words be sweet.

 

to be that way.

Perhaps that experience has caused you to be less than honest with others when what you really wanted to do was to tell them the truth. You stopped yourself because you were afraid stating certain facts or sharing your own opinion would hurt their feelings.

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Pants On Fire

Most of us are in the habit of telling the truth, as we understand it, most of the time. We practice honesty in everyday things like where we are going and what we are doing, and we are genuine and authentic in how we present ourselves to others.

2 profile and 2 full facial images revealed in the sand

When the sands shift and the face of truth is revealed, we have choices to make. We want to remain loyal to our relationships, yet we must also remain loyal to our own values and boundaries.

We do not live in the pants-on-fire red zone of a moral and factual truth-o-meter.

We expect others to be equally honest and truthful about themselves and their actions. We overlook the little lies to smooth over a rough spot in a relationship or the occasional taking of undeserved credit for a share of the work or success of a project. We expect that on the whole, others will accurately present to us their beliefs, values and personal conduct, and we will do the same. That’s why when we discover someone has intentionally and radically lied about these things, we feel violated and betrayed. 

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Forgive Yourself and the Past Will Stop Calling You

A friend opened my mind the other day to a new way of looking at those things from the past that we can’t seem to let go.

She said, “When the past calls, let it go to voice mail; it’s got nothing new to say.”

the words forgive yourself written in sand on the beach, little waves rolling in

When the past keeps calling, it is because we have not heard its message. The message is that we cannot forget our mistakes before we have forgiven ourselves for them.

This bit of advice has been circulating for a while, so you might have heard it before. The truth is, there’s a reason the past keeps calling to remind us of our worst moments, to remind us of the bad choices we’ve made that we’d rather forget.

The past continues to call because we have not heard the message it has for us. The message is that we cannot forget the past before we have forgiven ourselves for it. The past will continue to call until we have finished with it by forgiving ourselves. Sending the past to voice mail only prolongs our suffering.

It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves when really, all we are called to do is love ourselves. We show love for our current self when we forgive the imperfections of our past self.   Continue reading

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