Tag Archives: openness

What is the Agenda? It’s None of Your Business!

You know that I stand for honesty, openness and truthfulness in relationships. But I also believe that these things need to be tempered by our self-respect, as evidenced by the boundaries that we place for ourselves on our relationships with others.

sand dune fence on the Jersey shore

How firm are your boundaries? Do they keep you where you want to be while allowing for exceptions and special circumstances?

Sometimes, we allow our boundaries to shift under the force of another’s agenda or in response to a more important agenda of our own.

You’ve probably heard that some corporations insist on shoulder-surfing the Facebook pages of applicants during the interview. Their agenda is to see information about the applicant that they cannot legally ask, information to be used as part of the hiring decision that is not related to the person’s job qualifications. Applicants, hungry for the job and facing competition, are complying. Applicants have one agenda: get the job. They may well allow their boundaries to shift, choosing to sacrifice some self-respect in exchange for a chance at a paycheck. Anyone who has been unemployed for a while has already sacrificed some self-respect just to survive. It’s easier to sacrifice a little more.

I don’t know what I would do in that situation. Continue reading

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Filed under Openness, Respect

So, What Happened?

Years ago, when some project or client interaction had not gone as well as expected, the head of our division where I worked at the time would initiate a fact-finding conversation with us by asking, “So, what happened?”

punched metal music roll inside a music box

All we need to do is ask a few questions, and like releasing the clutch on a music box, the words will flow.

Then he would sit back and listen carefully, nodding his head to show he understood, and asking a few more questions, until it seemed we had each played out our full opinion. Only then would he speak about what he wanted done next.

It’s an approach that I came to admire and to adopt. Continue reading

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Filed under Listening

Report Card: One Month into Forming a New Habit

Last month, I told you that the one resolution I made this year was to live life in honesty, openness and truth, to the best of my ability, in every interaction, in every matter.

Forming a New Habit, Brad W. Smith photographer, Lifeishotblog

Being at the helm of your life requires great skill to navigate the obstacles

I also said that I was only going to keep this resolution for one month, with an option to renew each month, and to let you know in early February how well it worked for me in January.

When I started this blog it was to engage in conversation about what it means to be honest in what we say and do, to be open to others – who most likely have differing viewpoints, and to be true to ourselves in all situations.  Continue reading

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Filed under Commitment, Respect