Tag Archives: honesty

Don’t Be a Know-It-All

When we’re used to being the one in charge, the one who makes the decisions and directs others to action, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking we know it all.

2 dozen geese on a fall pond, one is flapping its wings and squawking, while the others calmly ignore him

The know-it-all is so busy trying to impress others with his knowledge that he fails to recognize that while everyone can hear him, no one is listening to him.

Once caught in that trap, we can think we have nothing to learn from anyone else, and that everyone else could benefit from our knowledge.

At a dinner party a few months ago, I had the painful experience of watching this know-it-all scenario play out. It was a small, casual gathering of old friends and newcomers. Partway through the evening, someone posed a question to an expert with multiple degrees in an area of highly specialized science. Very quickly, someone else jumped into the conversation. This second person, we had learned earlier in the evening, is an accomplished professional with an impressive career. But it became clear very quickly he had only limited knowledge in this area of science. Continue reading

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Don’t Tell Me You Don’t Have Time

“I don’t have time.” 

I hear that phrase in one form or another at least once a week.

2 x 2 arrangement of 4 separate images of men's wrist watch faces.

We all have the same amount of time, so why do some people manage to get done so much more than others?

Usually from the same few people week after week. Some of these people are far less busy than I am.

When I hear someone say this, I ask myself, Is it true? How can you not have time when we all have the same amount of time? We all have 24 hours in a day, seven days in a week, 365 days in a year.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

 ~ “Seasons of Love,” from ‘Rent,’ the Broadway musical

The truth of the matter is we have all the time we need to accomplish everything when we are clear about our goals, are willing to set priorities, and we commit to managing our time well.   Continue reading

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Honestly Speaking

Some people find it hard to give constructive criticism in a way that is effective, particularly to someone who is just learning a new skill.

black and white keys of a piano

When we offer both praise and criticism, sounding each clearly, yet beautifully, our words are powerful and effective.

It’s tempting to praise everything, or find fault with everything. Neither one is honest, but for different reasons.

Calling everything good, when it is not, is dishonest for obvious reasons. Doing so labels you as either ineffective or ignorant. Worse, most of us can at least intuitively sense when we’re not performing well, and when we’re told we’re doing better than we think we are, we correctly distrust the feedback as false and come to view the giver as uncommitted to our success. Continue reading

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Filed under Honesty