Tag Archives: honesty

Pants On Fire

Most of us are in the habit of telling the truth, as we understand it, most of the time. We practice honesty in everyday things like where we are going and what we are doing, and we are genuine and authentic in how we present ourselves to others.

2 profile and 2 full facial images revealed in the sand

When the sands shift and the face of truth is revealed, we have choices to make. We want to remain loyal to our relationships, yet we must also remain loyal to our own values and boundaries.

We do not live in the pants-on-fire red zone of a moral and factual truth-o-meter.

We expect others to be equally honest and truthful about themselves and their actions. We overlook the little lies to smooth over a rough spot in a relationship or the occasional taking of undeserved credit for a share of the work or success of a project. We expect that on the whole, others will accurately present to us their beliefs, values and personal conduct, and we will do the same. That’s why when we discover someone has intentionally and radically lied about these things, we feel violated and betrayed. 

Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under Honesty

How to Show You're Sorry When You Screw Up

We’ve all screwed up at some time in our lives. Whether we’ve broken a piece of expensive dinnerware at a friend’s party, dented the fender on a borrowed car, or gotten into a full-blown argument with someone at work, we’ve all done it at some time in our adult lives.

Chances are good that when we were kids, we were forced to say we were sorry, and our parents insisted that we meant it, without concern for whether we felt it our not.

bouquet of pink, green and yellow flowers in a round glass bowl, in florist case

We apologize most effectively when we repair the damage. A symbol of our regret, while appropriate, is never sufficient by itself.

If they also failed to help us recognize that we are separate from our actions, we were likely left feeling we had no choice, and that we were generally a bad person. There was nothing genuine about the situation because honesty was not a factor and honesty is the root of every effective apology. No wonder we can find it hard to show or say we’re sorry when we screw up as adults!

Fortunately, as adults, we can be genuine in our apologies, and show our own children a better way to handle our mistakes. Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under Honesty

No Regret for Time Well-Spent

A few weeks ago a far-away friend reminded me of the importance of keeping in touch with those who mean the most to us but whose paths no longer naturally cross ours.

Woman laying on the floor, using a magnifying glass to better see a man on the laptop screen.

Using Skype, a phone call can become a face-to-face visit where we better experience our precious time together.

She was speaking from her heart after having just learned that a dear friend, a near-family member, had died a few days earlier. She went on to describe the details that were most important to her about who he was and how he had made her feel. She recalled her precious memories of him and how she planned to spend time that evening listening to his favorite music. She also spoke of her regret.

Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under Honesty