Tag Archives: grief

Here’s the Best Thing to Say When Someone Dies

Why is it that we have no idea what to say when someone dies? We fall back on platitudes that we know aren’t the right thing to say. Even worse, those

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Living in your discomfort zone is the easiest way to expand your comfort zone. When you become comfortable with others’ grief, it’s easier to know what to say when someone dies.

platitudes only add to the pain felt by those who are grieving.  Your struggle in knowing what to say, and consequently, frequently saying the wrong thing, comes not from your own grief. It comes from your desire to avoid your own feelings of discomfort.

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Why Do Bad Things Happen?

Those who know me know I have a wacky (some would say warped) sense of humor. So a few weeks ago when our pastor quoted from the book of Matthew, I got to thinking

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?

And not one of them will fall to the ground

without your Father’s will. But even

the hairs of your head are all numbered.”

~ Matthew 10: 29-30

about what the scripture said and meant, and what it didn’t, about why bad things happen. Here’s where my wacky sense of humor comes in. So if sparrows don’t fall without it being God’s will, and even just your hair is more important than the sparrow, does that mean that no hair falls from your head that God has not ordained?

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A Different Way to Handle a Death Anniversary

Friday will be the fifth anniversary of my dad’s death. In some ways, my life has moved forward since his death day, the way it does when you work through your grief and get on with your own business of living.

headstones in a graveyard of various ages and conditions of decay

The legacy of a life is not summed up in the anniversary day of death, or in the anniversary day of birth. The legacy is in the great expanse of the life that was lived.

In other ways, I still miss him as though it were only a few days ago when I got the call that it was time to come home and say good-bye. The anniversary of a death day can be a difficult time – it can bring back painful feelings of loss. But then again, it may not.

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