I’ve been to a lot of funerals and visitations in the past few years, not as one who has come to pay respects, but as part of the bereaved family. As such, I’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of statements of support. I’ve also watched some people struggle to know what to say.
Comforting words come from the heart to speak honestly about the death that has occurred and the feelings of the bereaved.
When it’s our turn to pay our respects at a visitation or funeral, we want our words to bring comfort. We want to be known as someone who understands.
Choosing the right words to say is a good first step. Knowing we have the right words gives us the courage to speak with compassion. When we pair those two things, our genuine concern for the person we’re speaking to shines through, and our words give comfort and we are remembered for it. Continue reading
There is perhaps no conversation more difficult to have than the one where a single woman must say to her parents or her lover that she is unexpectedly pregnant.
Pandora’s Box held Hope, as well as Hate and Envy. If we hope to resolve issues that foster feelings as strong as hate and envy, we must start by honestly stating our beliefs.
Can you imagine what it would mean if no woman ever had to have that conversation?
There is no one single answer to the problem of unplanned pregnancy that will ever fit every woman and every situation. Our current public conversation, with its polarized positions, is never going to lead to any answers other than the situations we have now: unplanned pregnancies, forced marriages that rarely last a lifetime, single mothers raising children, and abortions.
This issue, like every other issue, is based far more on beliefs than on facts. What bothers me is that neither side states its true beliefs in the public conversation on this polarizing issue.
A more truthful conversation might frame up the two sides as the Right to Punish vs. the Right for a Woman to Enjoy Sex. Continue reading
Ever instinctively know that someone is trying to control you, but you can’t put your finger on it?
When someone is trying to control all aspects of your life, it’s time to persist in speaking your own mind and acting on your reality
You feel you’re being manipulated, but you’re not sure how it is happening?
Here’s a quick checklist to confirm your suspicions.
Manipulators pull your strings when they:
- Believe their opinions, wants and dreams are more important than your own.
- Believe they have the right to tell you who you are, what to think, feel and do.
- Expect you to read their minds and know and meet their needs, without their ever voicing them.
- Inflict verbal violence when you don’t do exactly what they want you to do.
- Give backhanded compliments, when they give them at all, and manage to point out some flaw or short-coming at the same time.
- Criticize your opinions and ideas, usually in front of others.
- Constantly challenge your perception of your reality. For instance, you say you’re hungry. You’re told you are not.
- Blame you or others whenever something goes wrong.
- Expect you to change plans or make accommodations to suit them.
Manipulators are controlling and disrespectful because of hurts they have experienced in life and still carry around inside them. Knowing this is no reason to accept their behavior. Continue reading