Tag Archives: conversation

Just the Way You Are

Have you ever tried to change another person in order to make him want what you want, to move her point of view in line with what is acceptable to you?

tile floor, window wall, stacked boxes, 2-wheel cart

You can’t make others change to suit you, and you don’t need to change to suit them. Sometimes the right change to make is to move on.

How has it worked for you? A friend of mine spent years trying to change someone to fit her needs. It was hard for her to come to terms with the idea that he wasn’t going to become someone other than his true self.


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Why Can’t You Say Nigger if You’re White?

How have you gotten to the point of putting a single word on a pedestal as so offensive that you refuse to say it, even when you’re trying to talk about why it is offensive?

word the N word in white on black with red circle and hash line across the words, lapel button

Promoting separate and unequal rules about words and their usage serve to maintain barriers between you rather than to unite you with others.

It’s all right to say nigger if you’re a black person. It’s cause for the charge of committing a hate crime if you speak it while being white.

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Death vs. Divorce – Correction or Compassion?

Carole Brody Fleet wrote in an article,  “The Epic Struggle: Death vs. Divorce,” in the Huffington Post, how those who have recently been divorced mistakenly believe their experience enables them to relate to those who have recently been widowed.

brown sand, two small stones of equal size about 2 feet apart, each with a dark trail from receding water.

It does not matter that the cause of your pain traveled a different path to reach you, your loss is painful to you and you deserve to receive compassion and to give it in return.

She advised that it is up to you, the widowed, to correct the point of view of she, the divorced, chiefly on the grounds that despite all the outward similarities – financial uncertainty, emotional upheaval, single-parenting, aloneness, loss – divorce is a choice. Her advice is wrong. Continue reading

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