Tag Archives: compassion

Will You Choose Quality or Quantity at the End of Your Life?

It’s been 56 months since I placed an agonizing call to Iowa Hospice about my dad.

4 dice, 6, 3, 5, 5, brown cup on side, brown and black granite countertop

For most of us, how our life ends is just a roll of the dice. A lucky few can intentionally choose quality or quantity for the number of our days.


With that call, he, and all of us, his family, entered the last leg of a journey whose outcome had been set two years earlier.

In the time since a spinal stroke, Dad had become a great-grandfather, had seen Mom sell the house they had lived in for 42 years, had given his most prized possessions – his HAM radio gear – to his only grandson-in-law, and had spent roughly 20,000 hours in a hospital bed or wheel chair. Continue reading

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What to Say When a Friend is Divorcing

Your friend has just told you that he and his wife are getting a divorce.

What do you say?

If you’re like most people, you can’t find the right words. You want to say something comforting, but you don’t know what to say.

Make no mistake, saying the right thing to a friend who has just announced a pending divorce is difficult. However, your friend

gray haired, plaid shirts, contemplative, somber

The right words in response to bad news provide comfort and support your relationship

knows you’re made of stronger stuff and that’s why he has confided in you. He’s counting on you right now, so it’s time to step up.

There are five parts to a good response that will bring comfort your friend. Continue reading

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Filed under Respect

At Least You Had a Choice

“At least you had a choice.”

I still remember the sting of these words when I heard them as a 29-year-old newly divorced single mother. The speaker was an older woman whose husband had died months before my husband and I separated.

white callas with purple throats, spotted green leaves

Your grief and pain is unique to you, no matter how outwardly similar it might look to others, and you always deserve compassion.

I was still in my ‘year of firsts,’ while she had passed that milestone.

I don’t remember anything about our conversation before or after that line. I do remember thinking that she was wrong. Continue reading

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Filed under Truth