There’s an assumption that females of a certain age must be mothers. That’s an assumption that makes Mother’s Day painful for women who are childless by
Empty arms ache for a child who will not ever be there.
chance, not by choice. Mother’s Day is a very different experience for women who would have liked to include Mother in their life history, but for reasons ranging from medical to relational, have never had children by birth, adoption, foster or marriage, and never will.
Many years ago I volunteered to travel with my daughters’ high school choir and band to a regional competition. My girls were in choir, and not in band. So when the time came for the band to leave the classroom where we were waiting our turn, I volunteered to stay behind and keep an eye on our stuff (we had been warned not to leave valuables unattended).
Choosing words that convey our meaning and consider the feelings of those who hear us lead us to better relationships.
What I said to the other parents was, “I’ll stay, I don’t care about the band.”
Of course what I meant, what I was saying in my head, was, “My children are not performing, your children are, of course you want to hear them. I will want to hear my children in the choir when their turn comes. In the meantime, I’ll stay behind so none of you have to miss your child’s performance.”
A school teacher recently lamented to me the use of cell phones, iPads and other electronic gadgets by her students in class, despite the fact these are not permitted. She’s
We trust that we will accept and handle the consequences of our decisions, and we can teach our children to do the same.
tired of being the classroom cop. She’s also tired of trying to teach children who are sleep-deprived in part because of the time they spend with their electronic gadgets.
I suggested to her that she stop playing that role and instead take time to talk with her students about responsibility and show them that she trusts them to make the right choices for themselves.