Tag Archives: answers

What to Say When You’re Angry: the One-Minute Solution

What do you say when you’re angry? Most of the time, you can express yourself with just the right words. Being angry, at a full raging boil, is not one of those times.

bright white flame heating air in hot air balloon

Anger fuels a heated conversation, but anger will not bring you to your desired outcome unless you learn to harness it and make it work for you.

When you’re angry, what you want to say and what you should say are usually two different things. Saying the right thing is not that easy when you’re angry.

There are a few things that you can say that will make you feel proud of yourself, and won’t hurt your relationship with your lover, your child, your boss or whoever it is who just set you off. You just need the one-minute solution to be ready to say them. Fortunately, it’s not hard.

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What I Learned Living in New Jersey

When I was in high school in Iowa I worked a number of part-time jobs, mostly in retail. Back then, I figured the primary benefit of those jobs was not the paycheck.

the words love yourself written in sand on the New Jersey Shore little waves rolling in

Experience every bit of life and let it continually reshape you.

The primary benefit was that I would learn something – about life, about other people, about myself. I figured as long as I kept my mind open to learning a lesson larger than the tasks required for the job, then I was meeting my goal.

When I moved to New Jersey 13 years ago, I took that same perspective: Stay open to what life’s experiences have to teach you. I thought I’d share 13 things I have learned while living here. Continue reading

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I don’t know.

One thing I’ve noticed in working with people is that some always have an answer, even when it is clear they don’t know what they’re talking about. They’ve never become comfortable with saying, “I don’t know.”  

blue field, white words which, who, when, where, why, help, how, Q&A, FAQ

We love to give answers. Sometimes we better serve others and ourselves when we are willing to say, “I don’t know.”

We all want answers because we hate ambiguity. We all want answers because answers give us a sense of control. When they are incomplete, or rooted in beliefs, not facts, answers can turn a good situation bad,  and make a bad situation worse.

We do ourselves and those around us a tremendous favor when we become willing to say, “I don’t know,” instead of jumping to conclusions or insisting that we have an answer when at best we have only some of the facts or even, only our firmly held beliefs. Continue reading

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