Category Archives: Respect

How to Live a Good Life

Depending on the decade when you graduated from high school or college, you may remember the spoken word poem Desiderata (Latin for “desired things”) that was written in 1927 but did not gain widespread popularity until the early 1970s.

orange sun just above the water's edge

To live a good life, all we really need to do is show up and be ourselves. Every. Day.

Or the college graduation speech improbably delivered by a number of people ranging from Kurt Vonnegut to Darth Vader but I believe (and let me know if you have better information) was actually written by Mary Schmich in an article called “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young,” for the Chicago Tribune. You might know it as “Wear Sunscreen.” Both are intended as advice to help us live a good life. The self-help section of the book store overflows with advice on how to live a good life.

And yet, here you are, hoping I have some nuggets, a silver bullet, the secret solution for all of life’s problems.

In short, you want, The Answer. Because, when we know The Answer, everything in our lives will be good. Continue reading

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What is the Agenda? It’s None of Your Business!

You know that I stand for honesty, openness and truthfulness in relationships. But I also believe that these things need to be tempered by our self-respect, as evidenced by the boundaries that we place for ourselves on our relationships with others.

sand dune fence on the Jersey shore

How firm are your boundaries? Do they keep you where you want to be while allowing for exceptions and special circumstances?

Sometimes, we allow our boundaries to shift under the force of another’s agenda or in response to a more important agenda of our own.

You’ve probably heard that some corporations insist on shoulder-surfing the Facebook pages of applicants during the interview. Their agenda is to see information about the applicant that they cannot legally ask, information to be used as part of the hiring decision that is not related to the person’s job qualifications. Applicants, hungry for the job and facing competition, are complying. Applicants have one agenda: get the job. They may well allow their boundaries to shift, choosing to sacrifice some self-respect in exchange for a chance at a paycheck. Anyone who has been unemployed for a while has already sacrificed some self-respect just to survive. It’s easier to sacrifice a little more.

I don’t know what I would do in that situation. Continue reading

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7 Players We Do Not Need on Our Team

We’re all part of team. Whether it’s a work team bound together by responsibility or the team called our family who are bound by blood and law, we’re on the team and we have an important role.

football scrimmage at the line

As a leader at work or at home, we can spot the players we do not need and ask them to leave the game.

Every team member is valuable and important, but the truth is, there are seven players we do not need on our team. We do not need them because rather than being team players, they engage in self-serving behaviors. They don’t play with us, they play against us. Continue reading

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