Category Archives: Openness

Forgive Yourself and the Past Will Stop Calling You

A friend opened my mind the other day to a new way of looking at those things from the past that we can’t seem to let go.

She said, “When the past calls, let it go to voice mail; it’s got nothing new to say.”

the words forgive yourself written in sand on the beach, little waves rolling in

When the past keeps calling, it is because we have not heard its message. The message is that we cannot forget our mistakes before we have forgiven ourselves for them.

This bit of advice has been circulating for a while, so you might have heard it before. The truth is, there’s a reason the past keeps calling to remind us of our worst moments, to remind us of the bad choices we’ve made that we’d rather forget.

The past continues to call because we have not heard the message it has for us. The message is that we cannot forget the past before we have forgiven ourselves for it. The past will continue to call until we have finished with it by forgiving ourselves. Sending the past to voice mail only prolongs our suffering.

It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves when really, all we are called to do is love ourselves. We show love for our current self when we forgive the imperfections of our past self.   Continue reading

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Dealing with Change at Work

At one time or another we’ve all had to adjust to changes in our place of work.

close up of slide rule, calculator and laptop on a antique desk

Life moves on. We can move on with it, or be left behind by it. The choice is ours.

Whether we own the business, work at the top of the pyramid or at the lowest level, all companies and the roles of employees within them must move and change over time.

Change does not have to be great or have tremendous impact on our daily lives to be unsettling. We all prefer to stay snuggly inside our comfort zone. A new boss, a new company policy, a new computer system, a new way of doing old things, a new location that changes our commute time and route.

Change is unsettling particularly when it is imposed upon us. We have no choice, no control, no say in the matter. In the midst of uncomfortable change, we do well to first remind ourselves: This too shall pass. Continue reading

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Do You Climb a Steep Learning Curve, or Do You Turn Around and Slide Down?

People ask me why I moved from Iowa to New Jersey. I did it in part because I knew that compared to Iowa, New Jersey is far more diverse in economic strata, religious affiliations, ethnic backgrounds, careers, cultures, customs, native languages, foods, clothing styles, values and traditions.

bookshelves filled with books

Life offers many opportunities to acquire new information. We can turn away, or we can be open to learning, a little bit at a time.

I have not been disappointed in that regard. I have found it exhilarating to be regularly challenged by so many different points of view and by people whose life experiences are so different from my own.  

What do you do when exposed to new points of view?

Do you look at as an opportunity to learn something new? Do you eagerly ask questions to help your understanding? Or, do you throw up the barricades to protect yourself from a challenge to your way of thinking? Do you furiously marshal your arguments, ordering them into strategic position so that they can return fire at the first opening? Continue reading

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