Category Archives: Listening

10 Things to Say When Someone You Love is Getting a Divorce

When someone you care about announces she is getting a divorce, what do you say?

Fortunately for you, there are a lot of options. I’ve listed 10 below, and you’ll know which ones will do the most good for your friend if you start not by doing a lot of talking, but by doing a lot of listening.

 

dark cloudy sky, small sun low in the sky, waves coming to shore of sandy beach and rocks.

A divorce is both a sunset and a sunrise. It is a a time to express regret and sadness for the time that has ended, and anticipation and wonder for the new life that is waiting to start.

A good response is like a good meal. It starts with a small appetizer to appease the hunger, more to nourish and sustain, and ends with a light and satisfying morsel. By listening carefully, you’ll be able to respond with the right words and assure your friend she made the right choice in confiding in you. If you’re a close friend, you’re going to get a lot of opportunity to listen over the coming months. Continue reading

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What Happens When You Speak of Grief?

Brad attended a funeral for an old friend of his in Iowa a few weeks ago. The gentleman who died did not hold a prestigious job.

large stage flanked by full length red velvet drapes, closed casket, band, singer at mic

By openly speaking about your loss and your feelings, you minister to others and give them the opportunity to minister to you.

He wasn’t fabulously wealthy. He was simply one of those exceptional people who touch so many lives that his memorial was held in a large public venue to accommodate the community of mourners. People came from all points to pay their respects. To grieve. To comfort. And, to be comforted.

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Playing Second Fiddle Is Harder

The late American composer, conductor and pianist Leonard Bernstein once said that playing second fiddle is the most difficult instrument of all. “…to find someone who can play the second fiddle with enthusiasm – that’s a problem; and if we have no second fiddle, we have no harmony.”

Mastering the art of conversation requires both the willingness and the ability to play second fiddle.

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