Did you know that the more you exercise your freedom of choice, the more contended and confident you feel? Your freedom includes the freedom to choose yourself when issues or conflicts
arise in your relationships. Choosing yourself can feel selfish, but it shouldn’t.
You know why the airlines tell you to put on your own air mask before helping others with theirs?
Because you can’t help anyone once you pass out from lack of air! Further, if you pass out, you become a burden to others. When you get on an airplane, you commit to helping yourself first.
It’s not selfish, it’s logical.
Take Care of Yourself First
If you’re not taking care of yourself in your relationships, you can’t take care of anyone else. Being committed to your own well being in your relationships is no more selfish than eating when you’re hungry, sleeping when you’re tired, or bathing when you’re dirty.
I have written about this topic a lot and I keep coming back to it because I find that I need to remind myself that when I choose to honor my boundaries and honor myself, I always like myself more and I feel happier, and yes, more content and confident. Perhaps you need a reminder too to keep the commitments that you make to yourself.
Does this sound familiar? It’s Friday night, you really want to recharge after a hard work week by taking a long soaking bath, without interruption. You tell your mate this. Your mate expresses disappointment and suggests something else. You give in, although you really want time in the tub, alone.
How do you feel? Like you’ve compromised in a way that you don’t want to compromise? Like your needs don’t matter as much? Like you’re expected to make things right for someone else? Maybe like you’ve been manipulated?
Those feelings are valid! Those feelings are telling you something about yourself. They’re telling you that you have disregarded your own boundary by choosing to ignore your own needs. (It’s okay to consciously choose to change your mind. What’s important is to know whether you’re changing your mind or you’re setting aside your wants or needs in order to please another adult.)
Your Personal Appraisal
- When have you chosen yourself over other options?
- Think back to a situation where you did not choose yourself, why not?
- Was not choosing yourself the right thing to do in that situation?
- What’s stopping you from choosing yourself?
Live Honest, Open and True
When you choose to honor your own boundaries, you choose freedom. Choosing to take appropriate care of yourself is one way you honor your own boundaries and exercise your freedom.
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