Build Self Confidence and Ignite Your Success

A few weeks ago I wrote about putting yourself first and I asked the question, if you don’t put yourself first, who will? It’s the same way with self confidence. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will?

Heron fishing at edge of muddy lake.

Building your confidence comes from realizing success, and success comes with confidence.

Confidence, believing in yourself, is a way of thinking about yourself and how you interpret what happens to you in life. When you think and act with confidence, you feel powerful and in control of your life. And, you’re more likely to experience success and to be seen as successful.

Showing respect for yourself and having confidence in yourself go hand in hand. You can’t have the second without the first, and once you have the first, the second one is easier to build.

If you want to ignite your success in your career, in your relationships with others, in your life, build your self confidence. It starts with that old advice: fake it until you make it. Act as if you are confident and soon you’ll begin to notice that people see you as confident, and you also feel confident. You feel a sense of control over your life that you may never have had before. You feel confident in your ability to handle whatever life brings you. The more confident you feel, the more confident you act, the more things go your way, or, when they don’t, the easier it is for you to handle the disappointments and set backs.

Build Self Confidence

To build self confidence, regularly do these three things:

Visualize success.

Visualize how you will walk, talk, stand, feel, sound and look. Your body language not only influences how others see you, it also changes how you see yourself. Body language that says, ‘I feel confident,’ will actually make you feel more confident.

Prepare your thinking.   

Before entering a new situation, or when you encounter an unexpected situation, take a minute to prepare your thinking. Tell yourself you will be open to whatever happens. Tell yourself that whatever happens, you will be okay. Just thinking about it as a new situation removes the pressure you may have put on yourself to be in control of the situation or to accomplish a new task with the same proficiency of someone with experience. Quiet your negative self-talk or doubts. Ask yourself how to make this easier for you. Don’t worry about looking silly or inept.


Athletes win by visualizing success and preparing their thinking. But no athlete ever won by stopping there. They don’t stop there and you can’t either. So now that you’ve prepared your body and your mind, it’s time to act. Go for it.

Self-Confidence Killer

Nothing kills self confidence faster than negative talk so there’s one more thing you may need to do to build and keep your confidence. You may need to separate yourself from negative people.

I don’t mean you should avoid people who are struggling in their own lives. I mean, evaluate what you hear other people say to you about you. If they question your decisions, challenge your choices, ridicule your statements or criticize your actions, they’re not respecting you and their damaging your confidence.

You put yourself first and show respect for yourself when you let them know you expect different behavior from them. If they can’t deliver, separate yourself from them.

Depending on your viewing, listening and reading habits, this may extend to eliminating certain TV or radio programs and tossing in the trash certain magazines that dictate physical beauty and personal perfection.

The more you practice acting with confidence, the more confidence you will have. Practice these three things daily, beginning today.

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk

curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any

experience that reveals the human spirit.

~ E.E. Cummings

Live Honest, Open and True

Build self confidence by following three steps: Visual your success. Prepare your thinking. Act. When you act with confidence, you’ll have better success in your life and in your relationships with others.  

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Tweet: 3 Simple Ways to Build Self-Confidence. A blog post by D’Anne Hotchkiss

Tweet: 3 Simple Ways to Build Self-Confidence. A blog post by D’Anne Hotchkiss

What techniques do you use to build and maintain your self-confidence? Tell me what works for you in the comments or tweet me @lifeishotblog with the hash tag #LifeIsHOT! 

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