How to Connect with Others Through Good Conversations

What is it that makes some of the Super Bowl commercials so engaging? I have a theory and even if I’m wrong, there’s a lesson for anyone who wants to connect with others through good conversations.

Connect with Others Through Good Conversation, Brad W. Smith, photographer, Commitment

A good conversation can connect two people through words the way holding hands can connect through touch.

This year about a third of the commercials that aired during the Super Bowl stood out compared to the other commercials. It wasn’t budgets, star talent or exquisite settings that made those Super Bowl

commercials superior. It was something else.

My theory is that the Super Bowl commercials that stood out did so because they focused on connecting with people. The other commercials focused on what’s important to the advertiser. The others all said, ‘buy this product because we want to sell it to you.’

The Super Bowl commercials that stood out focused on telling a story that says, ‘I understand what is relevant to you.’ Their chief intention was not to sell something. Their intention was to connect with others.

Connect with Others Through Good Conversation 

How often do you approach a conversation from your own point of view, just like those commercials that merely wanted to sell something? Probably most of the time you essentially say, ‘listen to me tell you what I want you to know.’

What would happen if instead of approaching conversations that way, you approached them with the intention of connecting with others? What would happen if your words demonstrated that you’re listening? What would happen if your words assured them that your priority is to show you care and as much as possible, to help them get what they need or want?

With a shift in your focus from yourself to the other person, you could turn those everyday conversations into good conversations and connect with others.

I think that when you use words that show you’re listening and your intention is to help them get what they need, the outcome will almost always be a connection between the two of you.

To connect with others through good conversation takes time. Just like the advertisers that have put effort into delivering engaging Super Bowl commercials year after year have slowly built a cult of ad followers.

Good Conversations are Different

I don’t know about you, but I avoided the advance on-line airing of the 2015 Super Bowl commercials. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t prepared to watch them. I was open to see what would be revealed. I was curious. I was excited to hear and see them. When the commercials aired, I watched with rapt attention. I wanted to feel the connection I’ve come to expect.

I feel the same way about some of the people I talk to regularly. I find that I approach my conversations with them differently. I am open to what I might hear. I am curious. I am excited to talk with them. I listen with rapt attention. If we’re talking in person, I make eye contact.

They approach their conversations with me in ways that tell me they want to understand my needs. They want me to know I have been heard, even when they can’t always give me what I want. As a result, I feel a connection with them that I don’t feel with others.

I hope your team won last night’s Super Bowl XLIX. I hope some of the commercials made you teary-eyed like they did me. I hope your conversations today connect you with others. Here’s a hint: start by talking about those commercials last night that connected with you.

Live Honest, Open and True

The one thing I want you to take with you today is a commitment to yourself to connect with others. Use your words to express your feelings and your understanding of what the other person has said. You’ll connect better with others when you do. I believe in you and want the best for you and know you can achieve the best for yourself.

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Tweet: How to Connect with Others Through Good Conversations. A blog post by D’Anne Hotchkiss
Tweet: How to Connect with Others Through Good Conversations. A blog post by D’Anne Hotchkiss

What do you do to connect with others through good conversations? Tell me about it in the comments or tweet me @lifeishotblog with the hash tag #LifeIsHOT!

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0 Responses to How to Connect with Others Through Good Conversations

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  7. Nannie, have you tried speaking to the other couple directly? Tell them that communicating via email is not working for you and that you value face-to-face communication. Suggest an in-person meeting for the 4 of you, in lieu of the staff meetings that have not been held. If you can refer to some recent activities that could have been more easily handled with more direct contact, that would be a good place to start as a reason why you’d like to meet. They may be comfortable communicating via email and may be unaware of the operational needs that you see as going unmet. Your instinct that your co-workers are less communicative naturally is a good assumption to start from. You may never have the level of verbal conversation that you desire. Your goal should be to make sure the job is being done well and equally. Good luck. I think you’ll handle it well.

  8. nannieofthenorth

    What’s your take on how to to make good conversation work within a corporate setting? We haven’t had a staff meeting in six months. Our jobs are semi-retirement positions, and the other couple who share duties want to operate as their own entity. We’ve resorted to e-mails, which don’t cover everything. Some problems developed and I stepped in to make some suggestions. The office manager thanked me, and I haven’t heard from the other couple. Starting to wonder if this is the way communication happens in the Upper Midwest.

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