Manipulation Misery

Years ago I met a man who spent his days manipulating certain people in his life to do for him what he wanted.

white man in pirate costume, holding mug, wearing elaborate headwear with parrot.

When you don’t trust yourself, you steal from others and give them nothing in return, while holding yourself above responsibility for yourself or accountability to others.

He took from those who loved him all that he could, while giving nothing to them in return. Not surprisingly, his life wasn’t going too well the last time I saw him. He was miserable.

He blamed others for his failures. In his eyes, he was the innocent and helpless victim of others’ decisions and actions. As a victim, he had no responsibility for what happened, nor any responsibility to make his own life better.

He yearned for success in many areas of his life, but he could not bring himself to take the steps necessary to have that success.

He didn’t trust himself to be responsible for himself. He was his own worst enemy, rebelling against doing the very things that would bring him success. If he had spent as much energy developing trust in himself instead of trying to manipulate others, he could have learned how to be his own best friend.

When you’re your own best friend, you’re supportive of your own dreams, kind to yourself, and you take care of your own needs and safety. When you do those things, you become more self confident and need less approval from others. Perhaps most importantly, when you love and care for yourself, you have better connections with others.

“I dream up things and then

I convince myself that they’re possible.”

~ Tony McCoy, jockey

Your Personal Appraisal

Here are a few questions to help you gauge how well you trust yourself.

  • Do you find it easy or hard to identify and express your feelings?
  • Do you know when you need to care for yourself first?
  • Do you have and follow your personal standards?
  • If you make a mistake, do you believe you can survive it and try again?
  • Do you pursue what you want without holding others back?

Life Is Honest, Open and True: You can trust yourself, or you can feel miserable. Trust that you know yourself and your needs. Trust yourself to make the right choices for you and to create your reality. Today, begin to realize your true self by saying what you mean and doing what you want to meet your own needs. When you have developed the habit, the self-confidence will follow. Soon, you will be amazed at the new person you see in the mirror.

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Tweet: You can trust yourself or you can feel miserable. A blog post by D’Anne Hotchkiss

Do you struggle with trusting yourself? Tell me about it in the comments or tweet me @lifeishotblog with the hash tag #LifeIsHOT!

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Just the Way You Are

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Make Up Your Mind


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