Does Your Relationship Need to be Shattered?

A few weeks ago a friend shared with me a statement: “Thank you for breaking my dishes.”

Relationship Shattered, Brad W. Smith, commitment, boundaries

Sometimes it is not until something is well and truly broken do we realize there is a problem.

The story goes that a person had an overnight house guest and in the middle of the night, the host awoke to the sound of dishes being violently broken. He made beeline into his kitchen and witnessed his guest standing in the midst of fine bone china carnage.

The host says to his guest: “Thank you for breaking my dishes!”

I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely certain that ‘thank you’ wouldn’t be among the first 500 or so words that would spring from my lips.

I’d be all kinds of angry and say all kinds of things.

I’d want to know Why? How could you? What you’d have against my dishes? What do you have against me? (We always make it about us, even when logic would tell us that it can’t possible be.)

After the host says to his guest, “Thank you for breaking my dishes,” he adds, “and showing me what kind of person I do not want in my life.”


“and showing me what kind of person I do not want in my life.”

Wow. I didn’t see that one coming, did you?

In other words, what the host was saying was: “this relationship is not working for me and so we need to do something different.”

Most of the time, you are not blessed with broken dishes. There is no straight-forward sign that stirs you from the slumber of daily life and shows you a person in your life is wrecking havoc upon you.

Once you realize your life is littered with the shards of false promises, manipulation through words or actions, persistent unwanted advice or assistance, never-ending complaints, fault-finding, blame, or other things that make you uncomfortable because they diminish you as a person, then it’s time to make a choice.

3 Choices

While the other person continues to break your dishes, you can choose to:

  • Gather up the shards and attempt to put the pieces together
  • Decide you didn’t like or need those dishes anyway
  • Get out the broom and make a clean sweep of things

“Thank you for breaking my dishes and showing me

what kind of person I do not want in my life.”

~ Unknown 

Life Is Honest, Open and True: You don’t always realize when a relationship with someone is not working or is no longer working for you. When a relationship is not good for you, it’s time to let it go so that you are ready to accept new relationships, or more from other relationships you have already. Listen for the sounds of breaking dishes, and then decide how you’re going to nourish yourself.

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Tweet: What do you do when your relationship shatters? A blog post by D’Anne Hotchkiss
Have you ever had a ‘broken dishes’ sign that a relationship in your life is not working for you? How did you handle it? Tell me about it in the comments or tweet me @lifeishotblog with the hash tag #LifeIsHOT!

Related Posts: Boundaries

No, Don’t Forgive and Forget

Yes, You Can Trust Yourself

Never Let Words have Power Over You


Filed under Commitment