Hey You! I’m Talking to You

Somewhere, deep inside you, is a part of you yearning for a piece of your own attention.


White woman, straw hat, rolled up jeans, wading at the edge of the ocean, sunny day, blue sky

Quiet time alone by yourself restores your soul and feeds your spirit in a way that being engaged with others in an activity cannot.


On Monday I wrote about how maintaining a strong sense of self requires time alone and how an intimate connection with yourself deserves the same urgent attention that you give to the needs of everyone else.

Yes, we are meant to be with others. We are also meant to be alone with ourselves.

Being alone with the still small voice inside is the only way to find out if you’re happy with yourself. You learn if you’re feeling unsatisfied or whether you need to change something in your life. You also learn to explore your own depths and to appreciate your own potential.

When you do those things, you free that person who is inside of you. She is that person who puts her own core values into practice every day, that person who is not afraid to spend time alone. Alone, but not lonely.

Tips for Making the Time

If you’re like most working adults, it’s rare to actually have that time for you. It seems as though there’s never enough time to get things done and someone always needs something from you.

So, how do you carve out the unfettered time you need to just be with you?

You start by declaring that time for yourself is scared. Maybe others in your household can take on a few household chores. Or, let others take on the roles and tasks that you do now for the community, professional or religious organizations where you are a member. Maybe you cut your time spent in mindless consumption of movies, television or video games.

Alone but Not Lonely

Once you establish this sacred time for yourself, how you spend it nurturing this relationship is up to you. You can draw upon your inner creativity. It doesn’t matter whether you’re any good at your creative pursuit or not. It doesn’t matter whether the project is impractical or whether it is something that you even know how to finish. Or, you can spend time with yourself in quiet meditation, free from any outside distractions. Or, engage in exercise or outdoor activities like hiking, biking or kayaking. You can also be in touch with inner yourself through journaling. Some people do some combination of all of these things. What matters is that you’ve taken the time to feed your soul.

You will begin to see yourself as living your life on your own terms. You will begin to assess what you do well and where you need to make improvements. You will learn to speak to yourself with kindness. Doing these things will instill confidence in you. Paradoxically, being more confident brings new and interesting people into your life.

Life Is Honest, Open and True: If at the end of the day you feel like you haven’t had a minute for yourself, it’s a great sign that you’re not spending quality time with yourself. When you nurture your inner self, you feed your soul, gain a different perspective of your life, and increase your self-confidence. All of these things make you feel better about you – or help you recognize what needs to change. Either way, your relationship with yourself, and with others, improves.

What have you experienced after focusing time on your self? Were you satisfied with yourself or did you realize you need to make changes? Tell me about your favorite way to listen to that still small voice inside you and nurture yourself in the comments, or tweet me @lifeishotblog with the hash tag #LifeIsHOT!

Related Posts: Time Outs

Flyin’ High

My Report Card on Building a New Habit

Don’t Tell Me You Don’t Have Time


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