No One Deserves a Second Chance

Have you ever known someone who treats someone, or everyone, as though no one ever gets a second chance?

green door padlocked, red brick wall

Do you close the relationship and lock out a person who has disappointed you or do you grant a second chance when it has been earned? Kevin May, photographer

They simply slam the door on anyone who has fallen from grace by admitting to infidelity in a relationship, lawbreaking, an addiction to an unhealthy lifestyle, or even holding a contrary point of view.

I wonder if people like that believe themselves to be so flawless, infallible and generally practically perfect in every way that they are above extending the grace of a second chance to anyone who falls short of their impossibly high standards.

Or perhaps it is just the opposite. Perhaps they are so hard on themselves that they never give themselves a second chance, never forgive themselves for their errors, and so cannot give to others what they cannot give to themselves.

3 Steps to a Second Chance

In truth, no one deserves a second chance.  They earn their second chances when they’re able to meet three important criteria.

  • You confess to others you recognize your mistake.
  • You have taken steps to avoid the same mistake in the future.
  • You have done what is possible to make amends.

By your own grace, you grant them a second chance to be in some kind of relationship with you.

Being open means more than just being willing to hear new ideas or getting to know people with different beliefs.

Being open also means being willing to extend grace in the form of a second chance to anyone who can present evidence of having experienced the consequences of a previous mistake, having learned from that mistake, and having expressed a genuine desire and ability to act differently now.

No matter what the mistake, the fact is none of us are perfect, and so who are we to deny others a chance at redemption?

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can

only see you for what you were, only see you for

the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that

you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”

~ Steve Maraboli

Life Is Honest, Open and True: Do you have the grace to give others a second chance or do you slam the door on those who have disappointed you and throw away the key to the relationship?

Thanks to my reader who shared her experience and suggested this post idea to me. If you have an idea you’d like me to address, please let me know by email or in the comment box below.

Related Posts: Second Chances 

Do You Dwell on It or Do You Move On?

The Truth Is, I Made a Mistake 

Venting a Problem Won’t Solve It – but This Will 


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0 Responses to No One Deserves a Second Chance

  1. D’Anne, much to think on in this post. No doubt, I’ve been on both sides of this fence, the one falling and the one deciding to give a second chance. I suppose my track record on both sides is quite varied, depending on the context of the situation and who was involved.

    Thinking back, when I was younger, when I opted to slam a door, it was more often because I simply believed I was right. Boy, was I wrong! LOL

    I generally don’t slam too many doors these days, but, that may have to do with the fact that I also don’t open too many doors either, something I’m working really hard to fix. Referencing my morning FB post, I’m trying to get back to building windmills instead of walls.

    Thanks for the mental nutrition this morning. 🙂

    • Bobby, I’m glad to hear that you’re not slamming shut the doors, that’s the first step to opening them. I love the windmills and walls proverb. We all need to work on building windmills. Good luck.

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