I think that more than anything else in the world, we are propelled through life by a desire to belong. We want to be a part of, to be considered good enough for, something larger than ourselves. We crave the connection.
And conversely, when someone shuns us, lies to us, or betrays us on a monumental level, we are deeply hurt because the message is, at least in part, we don’t belong. We’re not as good as, maybe we’re not even good enough.
In times like those, we need to be kind to ourselves by separating ourselves – at least temporarily – from the person who has hurt us. Why stay in a toxic environment? And, just as important to our well-being, we need to reach out to those we trust for affirmation and support. We do belong. Perhaps we should not remain connected to this person who has hurt us, perhaps we should. Either way, we still belong to the world around us. We are as good as, in fact, at least at this moment, we’re better than, the so-and-so who has betrayed our trust.
Depending on the strength of our sense of self-worth, what might be a minor blow to the self esteem of one person can be a major blow to someone else. There are some people who are blessed with such a strong sense of self-esteem that they are impervious to the colossal hurts bestowed by others. They see that others own their wrongful actions and while they acknowledge the actions, they remain emotionally unattached to those actions. Such people are not mere mortals. The rest of us want to curl up in a corner and die.
When you feel like curling up and hiding for perhaps the rest of your life, just remember, no matter what has happened, you are a wonderful human being and you are connected to people around you who love you and want to be with you. Trust that you belong.
This post is part of ‘5 Minute Friday’ – today, on the theme: Belong