Jon Mertz, writer of the blog, Thin Difference, has an interesting perspective on my recent post, “Uncouple and Stop Fighting with Your Past” In that post I shared my
view that we need to uncouple from our past so that we can move forward to discover the promise of the life ahead.
Instead, we stay stuck in the hurt of a terrible past, we need to get unstuck from that past and make the commitment to ourselves to live in the present.
What touched Jon was this:
“Until we make peace with a loss, we cannot
discover the promise of the life ahead. Note, I
am not suggesting that we bury our feelings.
We must make peace with the part of ourselves
that struggles against the new reality of our lives.”
~ D’Anne Hotchkiss
Sometimes to make peace with our past, we must first hoist the anchor and put as much wind into our sails as possible to take us away from it. Mentally, and sometimes physically, we must put distance between ourselves and what was so that we can see what is before us now.
Get Unstuck From Your Past
This is equally true when life today just isn’t as good as life used to be for us. We find ourselves in one of life’s troughs, and instead of doing the work we need to do to climb out, we spend our time looking back at the good times that used to be. We revisit our memories, over, and over, and over, dwelling on the wouldas, the couldas, the shouldas.
The truth is, we owe it to ourselves to not only live fully in the present, but to make the present the best it can be. If the present isn’t too good, then we need to spend our mental and physical energy on making it better. If it’s better than it used to be, then why are we wasting our energies reliving bad memories? Get yourself unstuck from your past.
The next time you find yourself looking backwards, ask yourself one question: am I making my life better by fixating on this? If the answer is no, then make whatever adjustments you need to your life to put wind back in your sail and leave the negative past behind you.
Life Is Honest, Open and True
Do you live in the here and now? Are you holding on to the past or is it holding on to you? Are you ready to refocus your energies and proceed differently beginning today?
Thanks to my reader who suggested this story idea to me. If you have an idea you’d like me to address, stop by our Life is HOT blog Facebook Group and leave a comment or tweet me @LifeIsHOTBlog with the hash tag #LifeIsHOT!
Related Posts: Commitment to Yourself
Check out Jon Mertz’s blog, Thin Difference