Beware When Verbal Graffiti Sounds Pretty

I’m fascinated by people who make it a standard practice to mislead people. They don’t mean what they’re saying because what they’re saying is not

Beware When Verbal Graffiti Sounds Pretty, LifeIsHOTBlog Brad W. Smith photographer

Whether verbal graffiti sounds great, or sounds hurtful, it never sounds honest.

honest. They want to prevent direct and useful conversation.I call this technique Verbal Graffiti. The first step to handling Verbal Graffiti is to recognize you’re hearing it. Continue reading

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Why You Need to Ask: "Can You Help Me?"

Are you the type of person who asks for help when you need it? Or do you struggle on by yourself, refusing to ask others? When you need help,

Brad W. Smith photographer, trust, “Can you help me?” LifeIsHOTBlog

Sometimes it is hard to recognize when you need help, to say what it is you cannot do, and to accept others’ help graciously. But when you can, you experience freedom from your need for perfection.

regardless of the type of help you need or the person you need it from, just say, sincerely and humbly, “Can you help me?”

I promise you’ll get help with whatever it is that you can’t do – whether it’s changing a tire, working with you at the school fundraiser, or finding a store. Continue reading

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Here’s the Best Thing to Say When Someone Dies

Why is it that we have no idea what to say when someone dies? We fall back on platitudes that we know aren’t the right thing to say. Even worse, those

LifeIsHOTBlog, Here’s the Best Thing to Say When Someone Dies, Brad W. Smith photographer, express your grief

Living in your discomfort zone is the easiest way to expand your comfort zone. When you become comfortable with others’ grief, it’s easier to know what to say when someone dies.

platitudes only add to the pain felt by those who are grieving.  Your struggle in knowing what to say, and consequently, frequently saying the wrong thing, comes not from your own grief. It comes from your desire to avoid your own feelings of discomfort.

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